


1 and 3/2 Men

by sevenstevearmy



Series: Borrowing My Heart [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, both of those are in the past and only mentioned briefly, for like 2 seconds, he kinda sad tho, logicality - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:42:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21893086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenstevearmy/pseuds/sevenstevearmy
Summary: For secret-sanders-sized 's event on Tumblr. This one goes out to arc852.Human Roman moves into his own apartment and ends up meeting his... smaller roommates. Roman is a trans man, but you can only tell from the writing if you squint. I referenced some heavier stuff but tried to keep it light since this is a present.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Borrowing My Heart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1597516
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	1 and 3/2 Men

Roman had finally gotten to move out on his own and was more excited than he had ever been in his life. Sure, he was just moving across town, but that paired with his name change separated him enough from his family to feel comfortable. Plus, he knew he would never see them in public since they sent the butler to do basically everything, including raise him. He had very few boxes of what he was able to snag before being officially disowned, so it didn’t take long to unpack. His mattress wouldn’t arrive for about another week, so he would have to do with a sleeping bag, but he kind of liked it as strange as that sounds. Living in that house was nothing but over expensive luxuries that were totally unnecessary. Now he could live like a normal person. As he laid down in his sleeping bag on his first night in his new place, he smiled and hoped to make some friends at work or when college started in a month.

Logan, Patton, and Virgil were used to getting new roommates. The last group had moved after just three months, convinced that the apartment was haunted. It wasn’t haunted, but they were right in saying they weren’t alone. This new one was kind of interesting. He had just about nothing, not even a bed. He also liked to talk and sing to himself. From what he had said they gathered that he loved Disney and was very alone. Also that his name was Roman. He wouldn’t stop repeating it. Once he was snoring Patton and Logan began to explore through what little he had.

“He barely has any clothes. He’ll have to get new ones.”  
“Indeed. It would be impractical to do laundry so often.”  
“The poor kiddo.”  
“It isn’t quite the time to be feeling sorry for someone so big, especially after the near misses two groups ago.”  
“We can’t judge all humans based on the actions of a few. Plus, that kid was sadistic. I hate even thinking about him.”  
“It pays to be cautious.”  
“I know, but I still feel bad for him. You heard what he was saying, didn’t you?”  
“It was hard not to.”  
“Hey look!” Something had grabbed Patton’s attention away from the previous conversation. “He has a bunch of books you can read!”  
“That he does. He has decent taste.”  
“How would you know?” A voice came up behind them.”  
“Virgil! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”  
“Sorry, Pat. I just thought I’d let you know the neighbors left pizza out again if you want any.”  
“Thank you, Virgil. That does sound pleasant.”  
“Oh! I wonder if the have pepperoni again. I like that kind.”  
“I think I saw some. Let’s get going before the big guy wakes up.”

As if on cue Roman tossed in his sleeping bag and began muttering. They could hear faint ‘no’s and ‘please’s and saw tears as they snuck past. Patton couldn’t help but feel bad and he could tell by Logan’s expression he wasn’t really as cold to humans as he meant to be perceived. Virgil’s hood was up and he faced away from them, trying to conceal that he was worried for this human. It had been him that had almost been captured after all, and he had the most reason to be wary, but he knew what crying in your sleep could lead to. 6 roommates ago he had learned. The woman had survived, but barely.

A couple of weeks went by and Roman had gotten a house plant and rack for his clothes. His living room still only consisted of a bean bag and stacks of books, but he had gotten a table and chairs for the kitchen from a yard sale. His room now had a mattress which was placed unceremoniously on the floor. He didn’t have much, but he was happy to be free. He had to work a lot in order to eat and keep the apartment, but he didn’t mind. Between his job as a waiter where he always got the best tips and his job at a shipping company being paid $20 an hour, he was doing alright. He thought about getting a roommate, but it was only a one bedroom apartment. 

Roman made mac and cheese with chicken nuggets for dinner that night. It was something he’d never had until moving out and had become a staple in his new life. Of course, now that everything was going so well, he got depressed. He had made some acquaintances that enjoyed his company, but no real friends yet. He sighed as he dished out his dinner and put the rest in the fridge for leftovers. He sat at his table that could seat four, alone. He checked his phone and had no notifications except for twitter, and he didn’t really feel like dealing with that at the moment. He saw something out of the corner of his eye and whipped his head around to find nothing out of the ordinary.

“Because of course my mind is playing tricks on me. Just my luck… It could be worse, though.”

He sighed again. He tried to remain optimistic throughout the whole ordeal. At some point, he realized, he had just become numb, and now that he wasn’t, all of the feelings he should have experienced were flooding in. It was so exhausting keeping up a cheerful disposition, not to mention pretending to be fine when others asked, not that anyone had noticed. They were just asking to be polite. 

“Maybe I should call out sick tomorrow. I don’t think I can manage. Yeah, one day will be fine.”

Virgil, meanwhile, had been what Roman had whipped around to see and only narrowly missed. He was now hiding behind the pot that had yet to be washed and hoped Roman would look away long enough for him to jump behind the stove and escape. He would also have to warn Logan and Patton that Roman was staying home tomorrow. Suddenly Roman burst into tears. Virgil couldn’t help but peak out to look at him. Roman stood up bawling his eyes out and brought his dishes to the sink, making Virgil scurry around the pot so he wouldn’t be seen. In doing so he was a bit careless and stepped on the still hot burner. Not hot enough to do lasting damage, but enough for him to let out an ‘ow’ before clamping his hand over his mouth. The crying sounds stopped and footsteps grew closer. He was going to be seen, there was no avoiding it. The best course of action according to Logan was to wait until they saw and were shocked, then book it to the nearest exit and hope they thought their mind was playing tricks on them. When Roman got close and looked him in the eyes however, he froze for just a second too long and was scooped up.

“Ow.” Roman said as Virgil bit him, but still didn’t let go. “Quit that. If I drop you from this height you’re not going to have a very good time when you land.”

This seemed logical enough, so he stopped trying to escape for the moment and instead remained vigilant.

“You stepped on the burner right? I’ll find you some burn cream. Do you speak English? Do you speak human languages at all? It would be just my luck to find a tiny person that I can’t even communicate with. To be honest at this point I’m not all too concerned. I might be hallucinating all of this, in which case it wouldn’t really matter. It would make a good story though. Anyway,” they had reached the bathroom, “I don’t quite trust you won’t run away if I put you down since I don’t even know if you can understand me, so I guess I’ll have to do this one handed. I can’t just let you walk around on an injured foot. It might get infected, and trust me, you do not want an infection. Sorry, I keep rambling. I’m so big and you’re so small, my voice is probably too much. What if I whisper? How’s this? Not that I expect an answer at this point. You might just be shy. Ah, here it is. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt.”

Roman squeezed out some burn cream from a tube and rubbed it on the foot of the tiny person in his hand. He then bandaged it and set him down.

“You can go now if you want, I won’t keep you here. It’s probably scary to be so small with giants around you all the time. There are probably more of you, aren’t there? I mean, there would have to be, it would only make sense.”

Virgil was testing out how it felt to walk as Roman rambled on, but he didn’t want to expose their secret tunnels. He was going to have to talk, one of the most dangerous things to do with big ones.

“Thanks.”  
Roman cut off what he was saying. “Oh! You’re welcome! Sorry that’s too loud isn’t it,” Roman noticed the tiny person flinch at his exclamation.  
“It’s ok… Normally we don’t talk, but, seeing as you haven’t put me in a cage yet, could I ask you to turn around so I can go home?”  
“Hmm? Of course! Sorry, I didn’t even think you wouldn’t want me to see you leave, but of course you wouldn’t. You’re whole existence is hidden. Before I do, though, I want you to know you and any friends you have are welcome here, and you don’t need to hide. Just don’t hang out anywhere I might accidentally squish you, ok?”  
“I’ll think about it.”  
“Great!” 

Roman turned around and heard faint shuffling. When he turned again he saw nothing where there had previously been a small person.

“Shoot. I didn’t even ask his name.”

When Virgil got back to Patton and Logan they saw his bandaged foot and were confused. Logan gave a questioning look while Patton launched into all the questions embodied in it.

“It was the big one. I burned my foot because I was careless, but he put a special cream on it and bandaged it so I could walk.”  
“He saw you?!” Logan was shocked. “How did you get away?”  
“He let me. He told me I could come back anytime. He was very considerate the whole time, but he talks a lot.”  
“But you didn’t talk back… right?” Patton’s brow furrowed.  
“I had to. I asked him to turn around so I could leave and he did.”  
“It must be a trap. He knows there are more of us and he’s waiting to capture as many of us as possible.” Logan worried.  
“We can just not go into that apartment anymore. There are plenty of others we have access too, and if he never sees us again, it’s likely he’ll think he imagined it. I mean, you should see this guy. He’s a whole mess.”  
“I suppose. But we’ll have to be extra careful.”  
“We will,” Patton and Virgil agreed.

Virgil was normally the most cautious of the group, but something about this big one made him unable to stay away. He would sneak out at night to watch him sleep. He even made him a cloth stitch doll that he could tell was appreciated. One night he found a note Roman left for him.

‘Hello small person,  
It comes to my attention I never asked your name. I know you must be scared of big people like me since you were hiding and I haven’t seen you since. I promise I won’t hurt you. If you ever want to hang out that would be cool. If you let me know what you like to eat I can get it for you. Have you been finding what I’ve been leaving out for you alright? That’s a dumb question. It’s always gone in the morning so you must be. If you don’t want to talk you can just write down your answers. Oh… Do you know how to write? Or read? Shoot. Is that rude to ask? Sorry. I think I’ll stop writing now.  
-Roman Prince’

Virgil laughed. He was trying so hard. It was endearing. He picked up the pencil that was a bit taller than him and wrote his responses. Maybe visiting him wouldn’t be so bad? And Logan and Patton didn’t have to come so they wouldn’t be in danger. Actually, they didn’t even have to know.

‘See you tomorrow night. Talk to you then.  
-Virgil’

Roman just about died and went to heaven when he came home and found a response to his note. From within the walls Virgil heard something he hadn’t since the first few days Roman had moved in, and even then it hadn’t been this loud or happy. He was singing songs that he had heard the kids a couple apartments down listen to from time to time. Roman had a nice voice and Virgil found himself transfixed by it. They both had rising nervous excitement as the visit dre nearer. Hours seemed to last days, but the time finally arrived. 

When Virgil snuck out he found Roman sitting at the table looking nervous. He made his way over without Roman noticing. It was a habit to not make noise while moving since usually it could put someone so small in a lot of danger.

“Hey.”  
Roman jumped and squeaked as he fell to the floor. “Oh! Virgil! It’s just you! You scared me.”

Virgil would have said he was sorry, really, but the thought of someone so big being afraid of him was just too funny and he started laughing.

“Are you laughing at me? That’s not very nice.”  
“Sorry, but usually I’m the one that has to be scared.”  
“I guess I’ll give you a pass this time.”  
“I really am sorry for scaring you like that.” Virgil said still with an amused smile on his face, though his words were genuine.”  
“Anyway,” Roman started, getting back up, “what do you all like to eat? I’m going shopping tomorrow.”  
“One likes sweets and the other likes vegetables. The second always scolds the first for not eating balanced meals. I like most fruits and we all like pizza.”  
“I think I can manage that. I don’t suppose I’ll ever meet those two?”  
“I don’t know, to be honest. The second is very distrusting of bigs and the first does what the second says because it’s kept him alive more than once.”  
“I see. Is that why you don’t normally come around? Because you’ve been told not to.”  
“Yeah, kinda. I mean, I trust you, which is pretty strange considering who I am and what happened with the last people, but I can tell you’re not going to hurt me.”  
“Of course I wouldn’t hurt you! There are people who have?!”  
The honest shock and anger Roman showed on his behalf caused the corners of Virgil’s mouth to turn up. “Well I don’t have to worry about that now, since you’re here, right?”  
“I will protect you and your friends with all of my being!”  
“That’s not a lot of being.”  
“Are you making a short joke? At me? Take a look in the mirror.”  
“Well as far as I know your lot are supposed to be at least a bit taller.”  
“Well excuse me for going through the wrong puberty the first time. This is all the height I’ve got.”  
“For someone so certain that I shouldn’t be making short jokes you certainly put up a lot of defense.”  
“Well… Shut up.”  
“That’s it? C’mon, Ro. You can do better than that.”  
Roman stopped in his tracks. “Ro?” He said a bit quieter.  
“Oh, sorry. It’s just what I’ve been calling you in my head and it slipped out. It won’t happen again.”  
“You don’t have to be sorry! I kind of like it. It’s a little nickname from a little person. Does this mean we’re friends? I should come up with a nickname for you!”

They talked a bit longer which was very enlightening for Roman. He got to see more of Virgil’s sassy and mildly emo personality. It was getting a bit late and Roman had to get up in the morning, plus Virgil had to sneak back without alerting Patton or Logan.

“Oh! I know! I’ll call you Virge!”  
“Because I’m always on the verge of a breakdown?”  
“Wha- I just meant like your name. Your name but short. Are you ok?”  
“Are _you_ ok?”  
“I’ll let you get back then. And Virge?”  
“Yeah, Ro?”  
“One day the answer will be yes. For both of us. I’ll make sure of it.”

Virgil nodded and waved as Roman closed his eyes so he could leave. As soon as Virgil was back in the wall he stopped and allowed the butterflies in his stomach to flutter about. He was in trouble, and sneaking out had nothing and everything to do with it.

The next morning Virgil was still feeling the effects of the previous night and sought out Logan.

“Good morning, Virgil. Are you feeling better?”  
“Huh?” Oh, right. His excuse for not borrowing with them was that he didn’t feel well and turned in early. “Yeah. Good as new. I had a question though…”  
“Ask away.”  
“How did you know you were in love with Patton?”  
“Pardon? What’s this about?”  
“Oh, nothing really. I just wondered what it felt like to be in love.”  
“Well I suppose I found myself happiest when he was there, I felt butterflies in my stomach, I got a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest. Patton might be better at explaining it than I am.”  
“What might I be better at explaining?” Patton walked into the room.  
“Virgil has asked me what love feels like, specifically the romantic kind I feel for you.”  
“Awwwwww! Do you have a crush?!”  
“Who would I even have a crush on? There’s only the three of us. I was just curious is all. It’s not important. I’m going back to my room.”

Patton’s face fell and became littered with concern. Virgil turned away and left feeling bad that he had made Patton upset, but having no way of telling the truth. He decided he just wouldn’t see Roman anymore. That would make everything easier, right?

Wrong. Everything just got harder. He avoided Logan and Patton for a few days before coming back like nothing had happened. Neither mentioned it, but he would catch Patton giving him sad looks every so often before he plastered a pitiful smile on top. It was driving him crazy, not seeing Roman, but what could he do? He couldn’t be in love with him. He probably should let Roman know that he wouldn’t be coming around anymore so he didn’t worry or try leaving anything out for him since it would only go to waste. He’d have to see him again that night and that would be it. Yeah. He could do it. At least that’s what he tried to convince himself.

That night he snuck out again. He kept repeating to himself that he could do this like a mantra to save his sanity. He went out through the hole in Roman’s room, and finding him not there he made his way to the kitchen. There Roman was, but wait… was he… crying?

“Are you ok, Ro?”  
“Hmm?” Roman looked around for a second until he saw Virgil on the floor. “Oh, yeah, sorry.” He said wiping his eyes. “I wasn’t expecting you. I can, uh, get something for you to eat, if that’s what you want. Shoot, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such a mess.”  
“Hey, it’s ok. Lift me up there so I can talk to you better.”

Roman nodded and did as he was told. His hands were shaking, but Virgil knew Roman would never drop him.

“So… what happened?”  
“It’s just a lot of small things piling up and I feel so overwhelmed, but you don’t want to hear about it.”  
“I do. Let it all out, Princey.”  
“Princey?”  
“You’re always singing those Disney songs and you look like you could have walked straight out of one of the movies.”

Roman gave the largest grin Virgil had ever seen and began going on about his awful coworkers and his car troubles and any other small thing that was bothering him until somehow the conversation shifted and they were laughing about anything and everything.

“Oh yeah. Did you come out here for a reason?”  
“Oh, uh…” Right. He did. “Not really. I just wanted to talk with you.”  
“Well I’m really glad you came, my emo knightmare.”  
“Was that a pun?” Virgil narrowed his eyes.  
“Maybe?” Roman tried to play innocent but they both burst out laughing.

Meanwhile Patton had decided it was time to address the elephant in the room that was Virgil’s odd behavior.

“If you want to know what happened, then you should just talk to him,” Logan reasoned.  
“I know, but… Will you come with me?”  
Logan’s expression softened. “Of course.”

But, when they went to Virgil’s room, there was no Virgil.

“Where could he be?” Patton wondered aloud, a bit worried.  
“Well, he normally doesn’t go out without telling us, but he’s more than experienced enough to manage on his own. Plus, after that incident, he’ll be extra careful now.”  
“You think?”  
“I do. There’s nothing to worry about, but if it gets late and he’s still not back, I’ll help you look for him.”  
“Thanks, Lo.”

Virgil had come to be like a son to Patton, despite only being a few years younger.

“Hey, do you hear that?”  
“It sounds like the big one Virgil ran into. At least he’s not crying now.”  
“Seems like he made a friend. That’s good… Wait… What did he just say?”  
“I didn’t quite hear him.”  
“I’m getting closer.”  
“Patton…” Patton was already off. Logan didn’t know what he heard, but it must have been something he found important, so Logan followed.  
“I was right.” Patton whispered. “Logan, he just said Virgil’s name.”  
“Now, let’s not jump to conclusions. There are plenty of people on the Earth with that name.”  
“I’m going to check.”  
“There’s no way I can convince you otherwise?”  
Patton shook his head.  
“Ok. One moment and I’ll get some supplies. Don’t leave without me.”

So Logan and Patton went through a tunnel that led into the kitchen. They climbed some wires until they could peek over the top of the stove. Sure enough, Virgil was sitting on the table while Roman sat in a chair. Both were laughing which was quite a shock to Logan and Patton. They ducked down for a moment so they could talk.

“What is he doing?” Patton whispered, his voice high pitched in fear.  
“It appears he’s talking with Roman again, and based on how comfortable they are, I’d say this isn’t the first time.”  
“What do we do?!”  
“I-”  
“Hey, Virge, did you hear that?”  
“Huh? I couldn’t hear anything over your obnoxious voice. You really like to hear yourself talk, don’t you.”  
Roman feigned offense at the faux insult. “Well I never. And to think I was going to ask you to watch a movie with me.”  
“A movie?” Virgil perked up.  
“Yes, a movie. Here, I’ll bring my laptop over and you can pick one. I’ll be right back.”

Roman left the room and Patton and Logan took their chance. They pulled themselves on top of the back of the stove.

“Virgil!” Logan just about hissed.  
Virgil whipped his head around with a look of fear and guilt. He tried to smile and wave in return.  
“What exactly do you think you’re doing? We both told Logan we wouldn’t come back here and that we’d be careful. This doesn’t look like careful to me!”  
“I know, I’m sorry guys, but… I can’t stop seeing him.”  
It dawned on Logan why Virgil had been acting strangely, and why he had suddenly asked about love. “Oh my goodness,” Logan whispered so only Patton could hear. “He’s in love with Roman.”  
“What?!” Patton just about shrieked.  
“Look, I tried to stop, really, but I just can’t. I understand if you don’t want me to live with you anymore. I don’t want to put you in danger.”  
“Now you listen here, Mister.” Patton hopped down and made his way to the edge of the stove with Logan in tow. “We would never kick you out. You hear me? You’re still part of the family. I’m disappointed in you for hiding the truth though.”  
“I’m sorry, Patton. I thought if I told you, you would stop me from coming.”  
“It seems to me that there have been some miscommunications and incorrect judgements on both ends. We would be more than happy to talk it over with you when-” Logan was cut off abruptly.  
“Oh my gosh! There are more of you! You must be Virgil’s roommates! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Roman!”

Patton and Logan froze. They hadn’t even heard Roman come back into the room. Patton in his nervousness tripped and fell over the edge of the stove. Roman dropped his computer and dived to cushion Patton’s fall.

“Hey, are you ok? I know Virgil said you two are more wary of big folk, but...” Roman started rambling, trying his best to make a good first impression even though he was sure he was failing miserably.

Patton looked up, wide eyed. He had never been held by a big before. Logan was just as nervous for Patton as Patton was for himself.

“Do you want me to put you down with Virgil or back on the stove?”

Patton didn’t want to talk so he pointed to Virgil. That would give Logan a better chance of escape if needed. Once put down, Patton looked around quickly before running to cling to Virgil.

“Hey, Pat. It’s going to be ok. He’s not going to hurt us. I know you have no reason to believe me and I’ve rightfully lost your trust, but I promise to you everything will be ok, for whatever that’s worth.”  
“I can leave the room again, if that would make you more comfortable,” Roman offered.  
Logan and Patton refused to speak so Virgil decided for them. “You don’t have to leave, but could you move your chair over there so we can have some space? They don’t want you to hear them speak.”  
“Ok! No problem! And if you need anything, just let me know.”

Logan made his way over to the others on the table. “Patton, are you ok? Any injuries?”  
“No. The big saved me.”  
“That he did. Now we have to decide if he has an ulterior motive.”  
“You guys, he only wants to help. You should have seen him when I alluded to past bigs being dangerous. He was absolutely furious that someone would try to hurt us.”  
“Forgive me Virgil, but your judgements may not be our best resource in this case considering.”  
“Considering what?!”  
“Well, I didn’t want to talk about it like this, but we know you’re in love with the big.”  
“First of all, ‘the big’ has a name. It’s Roman. Second of all, all he’s done since he met me is be kind and considerate. He went out just to buy us food, you know.”  
“Is that where the cookies came from?” Patton asked.  
“Yes. And the grapes, and the carrots. And if he really wanted to harm or capture us, he could have done it already. He hasn’t.”  
“That is true. Patton, I believe that this big means us no harm, based on all of the evidence presented. I want to be wary, but I can’t think of a single counter argument of consequence.”  
“So, he’s ok to talk to?”  
“Virgil has been, but it’s your choice whether or not you do.”  
“I think I’d like to get to know the person that our little Virgey has fallen for.”  
“I’m taller than you, Patton.”  
“In that case, I suppose I will stay as well. Someone has to watch over you two and make sure you don’t get yourselves into trouble.”  
“Yay! Virgil, would you introduce us?”  
“Sure.” Virgil turned to face Roman. “Hey, Ro! We’re good now. You can come back over.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yep!” Patton called out resulting in an adrenaline rush.  
“Ok, Princey. This is Patton. You two have similar senses of humor and like fairy tales. I’m sure you’ll get along. And this is Logan. He likes to read. He’s very smart and likes to debate.”  
“Can you do my taxes?”  
“Your what now?” Logan replied.  
“Never mind. It’s nice to finally meet you. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to make you more comfortable. Oh, and did we still want to watch a movie, or should we chat a bit?”  
They all looked to Virgil. “Let’s chat a bit and then a movie. You don’t have work tomorrow, right?”  
“Right. So we could hang out all day if you wanted. Oh! We could have a sleepover! That would be so fun! I’ve never had one before.”  
“Oh we should!” Patton exclaimed. “We’ve never had one before either.”  
“It’s settled then! Sleepover in my room!”

Logan attempted to protest but couldn’t get a word in between Patton and Roman planning activities and giggling whenever one of them made a pun. Virgil rolled his eyes and smirked before giving Logan a nudge who resigned himself to his fate.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what adventures you would like to see the crew go on next!


End file.
